


Together

by TheDandelionFromHell



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDandelionFromHell/pseuds/TheDandelionFromHell
Summary: Tony knows that if they're together, they can fight back.*Infinity War Spoilers*





	Together

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Together - 一起](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14512095) by [TheDandelionFromHell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDandelionFromHell/pseuds/TheDandelionFromHell), [Uryan_Karl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uryan_Karl/pseuds/Uryan_Karl)



 

When Tony regained consciousness, he felt the soft mattress under him first, and the pain that was pulsing through his body later.

Where was he?

"T...Tony? Are you awake?"

Tony turned his head ever so slightly to the left hand side of the bed, from where the voice was coming.

Rhodey.

_Oh. Oh thank god. He's alive. He's alive. His Rhodey was still alive._

He must have made some movement, because Rhodey was immediately on his feet and near Tony, helping him up a little. Once he was in a comfortable position, Rhodey moved slightly away from him, trying to reach for the glass of water kept aside.

Tony latched on to his arm before he could turn.

"No. No." His voice was rough, as expected. He needed the water, he realized, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Rhodey sat down beside him, engulfing him in a hug. Tony shivered, his breath growing shallower. He latched on to Rhodey. He didn't know what to say, or do. 

 _Earth_.

Tony remembered a little while trying to breath. He and Nebula had somehow made it to earth. Quill's spaceship was damaged too, but they'd both made it work. They'd needed to get out the Titan as fast as they could.

_Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good._

_I don't want to go Sir, please._

_I don't want to go._

_I'm sorry._

No.

No.

No.

Please. No.

_No._

"Tony? Tony! Hey- Tony!"

What?

"Rhodey?"

Rhodey sighed, pulling Tony back into the hug.

"Oh god Tony. You wouldn't breathe properly. I'm sorry. Does it hurt?"

Tony shook his head.

He closes eyes, inhaling and exhaling. Trying his best to calm himself down.

"He-he's gone, Rhodey. I could-couldn't save him. Or anyone. Th-they're gone. I couldn't. I wanted to - ash - but it was gone. Rhodey, I tried - I tried. I couldn't."

His voice cracks, and he knows he sounds like a mess, but his words won't leave his mouth otherwise. Rhodey only holds him closer.

"I know, Tony. I know."

The way Rhodey says it, Tony feels his stomach sink. They've lost people here too. He wants to desperately ask him, but he doesn't. He's scared of the answer.

He settles for another question. "What happened here?"

Rhodey looks at him with sad eyes, and he wants to tell Rhodey it's okay if he can't tell him. But Rhodey tells him anyways. He starts from the beginning. He finds out about Bruce contacting Steve. About Vision, about Wanda and the war. Rhodey tells him everything, but he's vague at the end. Tony feels his stomach sink lower. They've lost too many. He can tell.

_Can we ever lose too many?_

Even if Tony somehow manages to ask Rhodey, he's not sure Rhodey would he able to answer.

"We didn't understand, Tony. We didn't. It happened so fast. We thought, if we kept the mind stone out of his reach, it'd be okay. But in the end it didn't even matter."

Tony nods. His vision is blurry, and he only barely manages to not break down.

"What happened when I landed here? I don't-I don't remember that."

"You fainted the moment you landed. Before you could even meet us. Nebulu almost...carried you out. You've been out for a day."

"Oh." He doesn't know what else he can say. He remembers being tired, but that's about it.

They sit that way for some time, Rhodey stroking his back to help calm him down. It feels like a lifetime.

He feels almost asleep when Rhodey talks again.

"Tony, do you want to go and...meet everyone?"

_Everyone who's left._

He only nods once.

 

 

He notices Natasha and Bruce first. They're sitting close together on the couch, but not touching. Thor is sitting on the opposite end, with a...racoon on the sofa adjacent to theirs.

Before he could look around a little more, Natasha's eyes landed on him.

"Tony, you're awake."

"Nat."

Her eyes soften, but she doesn't actually smile. He silently wonders, if any of them will ever be able to again.

He takes a step towards her, but she's up faster, moving towards him already. Thor and Bruce follow.

"We missed you." She says as she hugs him. He hugs back. He hopes he can convey that he missed them too.

Bruce hugs him next, and Thor pats him on the shoulder. Something unclenches in his stomach. The grief is still there, but he feels slightly warmer.

He tries not to think about something else. They're here at least, all of them. It's unsaid, but he knows everyone thinks it. They can't fathom the loss they've suffered. They've got no other choice than to look at it this way.

He takes a deep breath. Not trying to think about those who aren't here.

He knows he's in Wakanda. But he hasn't seen T'Challa yet, but he somehow knows he's gone. He knows Vision is gone, and Wanda too.

But even so, he can't help but feel relieved they're all here.

He feels a tinge of guilt about it, and he himself knows he doesn't need more of it - but they're all his people. There's Rhodey and Bruce and Natasha and Thor. They're all here, everyone who was originally there. It meant more than what he could put into words. They're all alive.

They're all together.

_But how do we cope with something like that?_

_**Together**. _

_We'll lose._

_Then we do that together too._

It hits him faster than he can process. He barely registers Thor introducing him to the raccoon. Natasha mentioning something about someone else.

His eyes widen, his breathing growing shallow as he instinctively tries to reach for support. Tony feels himself sink.

_Steve. Steve._

_No_ , he tells himself.

**_Where is Steve?_ **

He desperately wants to ask, and he almost does; but before he can even form a sentence in his head properly, he feels darkness consume himself again.

 

 

Tony wakes up to hushed voices. He can't figure out who's who. He can't seem to open his eyes just yet.

"Will he be alright?"

"He should wake up in a few hours. His injuries are not fatal anymore."

"Why did he faint again?"

"We can't tell for sure, but maybe he had a panic attack."

"He fainted because of a panic attack?"

 _It's Steve_ , a voice in his head tells him. He can't ever forget his voice.

Steve. Steve. Steve was here.

_Steve was alive._

Tony wishes he could say something, fall into his Steve's arms. Anything. He needed Steve.

But instead he just shuts off, going back to sleep, desperately trying to cling on. 

 

 

When he wakes up, he's alone. He hates it.

He realizes it's night, and sighs. He was sure someone was here as long as they could be. He's glad they're all resting. They should.

His grief feels dull to him. Almost unreal. He feels helpless, even to his own grief.

Even though it hurt to move, and he really knows he should not, he somehow lifts himself of the bed. His abdominal wound seems to have been healing, and he's sure it's due to Wakanda's technology. He's not complaining.

He moves down the hall, not sure where he wants to go. He doesn't know anything anymore. He doesn't want to. He feels better that he's numb.

Maybe he can find some proper food? He feels hungry.

"Tony?"

His breath hitches almost immediately at the voice. It can't be, he thinks. He turns towards the source. He feels like a kid who's trying to hide, and who feels his heart is too loud. That he'll get caught.

"S-Steve?"

Steve looks at him a little weird, and he can see the worry in his eyes.

"Tony." He says again. Tony doesn't know what else to say either. He thinks it's a dream. But he knows, it's not.

Steve is here. Steve is not gone. Not yet.

"Steve" He feels surer now. He wonders if either of them will be able to say what they really want to. To him, it barely matters anymore. Steve was here, and that was enough. They'd work out everything else.

He doesn't know if he moves towards Steve, or Steve moves towards him. But they're standing closer now. Tony knows he reaches out first. He touches Steve's arm, and then holds it. He feels his heart quicken.

 _Steve_.

Steve is alive. Alive and warm and real. Steve didn't fade away.

"Do-do you want to sit down? You still haven't recovered completely, you shouldn't stress yourself out."

There was hesitation in Steve's voice, and he knows it's an odd thing to say. It's incredibly awkward. They were supposed to yell and grieve, not meet in the middle of night, pretending to be fine.

There was still some kind of wall in between them, but Tony didn't care. He was here, and so was Steve. Nothing else mattered right now.

"Ya. I'd like to sit down." He says after some hesitation himself. What were they doing? There were so many scenarios in his head, when they'd meet again after Siberia. He'd thought of it even on the ship back to Earth. This one was no where close to any one of them.

So they sat, somewhere near the window. Steve leading the way, and him following. Tony felt out of touch with everything. Seeing Bruce and everyone made him happy, but it still hurt more than he could put into words. They all somehow knew what to say, how to grieve. But Tony didn't.

"Tony?" Steve said, and Tony looked up at him. He waited for Steve to say something, but instead Steve averted his gaze, and looked down at Tony's hand. He reached for Tony's hand slowly, almost as if he was giving Tony a chance to withdraw his. He rested his hand on Tony's hesitantly.

"You're alive." He tells Tony.

Tony feels he could laugh. That's all he thought he wanted to say to Steve, but here they are. Tony smiles.

"So are you."

Steve shakes his head, sort of in amusement. "When Bruce called, he said you were gone. And then when we saw you with Nebula, you were unconscious. It made me assume the worst."

"I know."

"You do?"

"When I woke up the last time...everyone was there. You weren't. I assumed the worst too."

"Is that why you panicked?"

Tony nodded, too embarrassed to answer.

"I'm sorry. I was helping Okoye with something. I didn't know you'd woken up."

"It's alright."

"Do you feel better?"

"Much. What about you?"

"I don't know."

They fell into a comfortable silence. Tony expected it to be weird, but at this point Steve's presence only calmed him down.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I really am."

Steve spoke suddenly, but still carefully. Tony felt his heart clench. He wanted to tell Steve he didn't need to apologize. But this wasn't just about what happened three years ago, this was about everything.

Everything they'd lost in just a couple of hours.

"I'm sorry too."

Steve smiled, his hand tightening around Tony's. It was sad and soft, and yet Tony for the first time in a long time, felt some hope. Steve's hand was warm.

"I've missed you, Tony."

Tony remembered Steve telling him he will miss him all those years ago, and he hadn't said it back. He'd regretted it later. He didn't want to regret anything anymore.

"I missed you too."

"I know."

Tony glanced at Steve, eyebrows slightly raised. "How do you know that?"

"Bruce told me you carried the phone around, the one I sent."

Despite himself, he felt color rise to his cheeks. "I did not carry it everywhere."

"Uh-huh. I believe you."

Stupid Steve and his stupid uh-huhs.

The moment passed immediately after that, and they fell into silence again. Tony's heart however, continued to beat as fast as it could.

Everything kept swirling in his mind. There were so many things to think about, to grieve about.

"The raccoon, he was a part of Quill's group?"

Steve nodded. "When you guys landed, he thought it was them. It's just him left now. Thor's been with him. Loki died earlier, fighting against Thanos. Asgard has been destroyed. They were coming to earth when Thanos attacked them."

Tony fell silent again. How were they going to come out of this?

"Who...who did we-over here?"

He was afraid to complete the sentence, but he had to ask. Steve understood well enough.

"Sam. Wanda. T'Challa. Rockets's friend Groot. He...he killed Vision before. We didn't even get to process what was happening. It was...it was too sudden."

He was glad he hadn't asked Rhodey. They'd lost so many. So many.

"And Barnes?" Tony asked. His voice as gentle as it could be.

"He was the first to go."

Oh god.

 _Oh god_.

Tony withdrew his hand from Steve's, and placed it on top of it. Steve had just gotten him back. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair at all.

"I'm sorry." Steve shook his head. "We couldn't do anything."

Tony realizes then, what destroys all of them more, is that they couldn't do any damn thing to stop it.

His voice is trembling when he speaks next, trying to get the words out before they're back into being a mess.

"I couldn't save the kid, Steve. I couldn't. He...he can sense things, if they're going to go wrong. He didn't want to go. He didn't-didn't deserve to. He wa-was a kid. I...I got him there. It was my fault. Everything. Strange, Quill...all of them. He traded the time stone to save me. Why would he do that? _Why would he?_ It's not fa-fair."

By the end of it, Tony's voice cracks, and before he knows it he's pulled against Steve's chest.

"It's not your fault, Tony. No matter what we think. It's not. It's not our fault."

Tony understands. He realises that Steve too, on so many levels, must be blaming himself. He's sure others are too.

"I didn't realize how much he meant to me, Steve. I...I don't know, he-he was so brave. He was clinging to me. I couldn't do anything. He told me he was sorry. It was me who failed him. Not the other way around. I couldn't-even his ash. Oh god. It was all that was left. How can we ever fix this?" He mumbled into Steve's chest. He sounded broken.

"We didn't even find out when Sam died. We-we didn't even know."

Tony could feel his heart break. He could tell, Steve was tired. But he was here, staying strong. Just for Tony.

"Strange-he saved my life. Told Thanos to spare me. I...I couldn't even stop him."

Steve hugged him tighter. "Princess Shuri will be the queen now. She couldn't even grieve her brother, she has to stay strong for her kingdom. She's just a kid."

He feels calmer, in spite of his inner turmoil. Them exchanging words like this, their grief. It helps in so many ways, he's grateful.

"It doesn't seem real. It all happened too fast. I...I can't imagine. People all over the world, they don't even know what's happening."

"It'll be fine, Tony. We'll figure out a way."

 _What_?

"How-how can you say that? There's nothing we can do. _We can't defeat Thanos._ "

Steve draws back and looks at him, "We have to try, Tony. We have to fight back."

Tony lowers his head, letting it rest on Steve's chest, clutching the taller man's T-shirt.

"How-how can you be so certain?" He whispers. He feels so broken. He's got no fight left in him. How can Steve say this so easily?

"I'm not. I just...I mean, you know?"

Huh?

Tony looks up at Steve again. He looks embarrassed. Somehow shy.

"Steve, _what?_ "

Steve looks more embarrassed now, yet he answers Tony.

"I'm not certain, Tony. I'm not certain about anything. I don't know what we're going to do, or even how we're going to deal with it. But I do know we will get through this."

Tony looks at him with wide eyes. Steve's voice is so earnest, he can't help but believe him.

"Do you think we'll be able to get them back?"

"I don't know."

"Then how do you know it'll be alright?"

"Because you're here now."

"Oh." Tony struggles to find the right words. He has a lot to say. "You think if I'm here, we'll be able to make everything alright?"

"No, I don't think it's because you're here."

"Oh. Okay." Tony averts his gaze again, a little knot in his stomach.

"Tony." Steve whispers, and brings his hand to cup Tony's cheek as gently as he can, and make him look at Steve. "It's not because you're here that I feel that way, Tony. It's because _we're_ here, _together_."

Tony's breath hitches in his throat, his hearbeat quickening. He doesn't know what to say.

But he does knows what Steve means, and he agrees. Somewhere, somehow, he knows. Them together, they'd have been able to work better. It's not that they didn't give their best now, because they did. But it's more complex than that. He wishes he could explain, even to himself, but he can't.

He just _knows_.

And so does Steve.

They haven't been this close since before the Accords were formed. He feels he could drown in it.

He's missed Steve so _so_ much. His Steve, who's always so strong, even when he could break so easily.

Tony brings his hand to lie on top of Steve's, holding it there.

"We'll fix this. Together." He says.

"Together." Steve agrees.

They sit like that till the sun rises.

When Natasha walks in, she says nothing, but her eyes are fond. Steve's fallen asleep, clutching Tony to himself. Tony hasn't been able to sleep, but he feels safer, calmer.

"He hasn't been sleeping properly. At all." Nat tells him as she sits opposite to them.

Tony looks at her, a little confused. Obviously he couldn't sleep, he wants to say. So much has happened.

She seems to notice his confusion, so she clarifies. "He hasn't slept properly in three years. Ever since the accords. He sleeps as much as his body requires, but nothing more."

Tony closes his eyes, trying to process the information and calm himself at the same time.

"Me either." He finally says.

Nat's expression softens even more. He realizes it's not guarded anymore, hasn't been since he saw her yesterday.

He tries smiling at her, to assure her. She tries back.

"He...he told me we have to fight back again."

Natasha nods, looking determined. "We will."

"Yes." He agrees with her, trying to match her determination.

She leaves them then, telling them to get some food later. He tells her they'll be there when Steve wakes up.

He knows they're not fine, and it'll be a long long time till they will be. Steve's still shaken up, not able to even completely process what's happened.

He understands what's happened, and he's processed it, but his ghosts are far from gone. All he can do is think about Peter's face, his words as he was clinging to him. No matter how tried, there was no distracting himself. If he didn't stop, he'd drown in guilt before he even realizes.

But as he stares down at his hand in Steve's, he thinks that maybe they'll be fine. It'll be slow, but they will be.

If they keep trying to smile and not lose what little hope they have left, he's certain, that no matter what it is that's waiting for them, they'll pull through.

**Author's Note:**

> Because in some way or the other, Infinity War broke us.


End file.
